Please shred this CV

[sultanoflondon1]

Hello,

Please advise me on this CV that I will be using this to apply for a work experience at J.P.Morgan at GCSE / A-level.

Thank you in advance!

 

[Trigger1]

Big no-no. Read the previous reviews.

 

[sultanoflondon1]

Big no-no. Read the previous reviews.

Have read the last ten or so reviews. Could you please elaborate?

Is it too long?
Too many words?


Thank you very much!

 

[sultanoflondon1]

Big no-no. Read the previous reviews.

Oh and by the way, J.P.Morgan have instructed me to put a 'short motivational statement' at the start of the CV.

That's why it's there.

 

[sultanoflondon1]

Big no-no. Read the previous reviews.

Unfortunately missed the J.P.Morgan application deadline due to the high volume of CVs. They closed the portal after just 3 hours of opening it!

Nonetheless, I am still trying to perfect my banking CV. Have attached a revised copy.

Changes include:

One page in length
Smaller spaces
Some minor other changes

All text in red indicates where I will put in text in the future: the model House of Lords at school is yet to have its first meeting and therefore I will put some text in there when I can put something worthy in there!

Thanks very much for this!

 

[Trigger1]

Much better.

- it needs to be more concise, trim down on the number of bullets and keep what you think is most valuable
- put the email and tel number together
- improve the bullet points, a simple statement like "This was a two-week long internship in which I furthered my knowledge of the mutual fund industry" or "I constructed some excellent relations with the HSBC team in Ealing" or starting each with an "I" is not the way to go; in each of them you should be trying to sell yourself and show something valuable.
- bullets should be aligned exactly in the middle

 

[sultanoflondon1]

Much better.

- it needs to be more concise, trim down on the number of bullets and keep what you think is most valuable
- put the email and tel number together
- improve the bullet points, a simple statement like "This was a two-week long internship in which I furthered my knowledge of the mutual fund industry" or "I constructed some excellent relations with the HSBC team in Ealing" or starting each with an "I" is not the way to go; in each of them you should be trying to sell yourself and show something valuable.
- bullets should be aligned exactly in the middle

Thank you very much for the advice! I will get these points done, and upload a revised CV again.

Just to confirm, what do you actually mean by your third point: improve the bullet points?

Should I simply make them shorter and more concise or completely rewrite them?

 

[Trigger1]

Improve the quality/content of your bullet points. Stuff like "I constructed some excellent relations with the HSBC team in Ealing" is nothing of a result or noteworthy.

Completely reword/rewrite them.